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today the glitterbomber is... |
2003-01-05 i came to an interesting conclusion about myself yesterday. in therapy, we were discussing binging/purging food. my therapist asked me if i�d ever purged. i told her that i hadn�t, and we went on to discuss other things. later that night, i had a strong urge to clean out my apartment�to reorganize, to consolidate, to dispose. i set about my task, and as i was filling a garbage bag with old clothes to take to goodwill, the word purge entered my mind again. i realized that my method of purging doesn�t involve ridding my body of food; it involves ridding my environment of things. things i no longer wear or want or use. when i�m finished going through all my things, and when everything is put neatly back, or thrown away, or bagged and destined for the goodwill bin, i feel a deep sense of satisfaction. in having less, i feel better; i begin my purging feeling overwhelmed and anxious, but i finish feeling relaxed and in control. i suppose that this is the feeling that people who purge food try to obtain. i�m glad that i found a healthier way to do it, though. (despite other ways that i harm my body) suddenly, a lot of things make sense to me. *** one thing that does not make sense to me, however, is the bra industry. why is it so damn impossible to find a decent bra? it seems like 90% of them are ugly or make my breasts, um, pointy. and let�s not forget the preponderance of padding. i find it extremely disconcerting to look at row upon row of bras that are so padded that it looks as if people are already wearing them. admittedly, i have never had the need (or desire) to pad my bra, being in the well-endowed category of women. but are there that many women who wear padding? are everyone�s breasts smaller than they seem? then there is the whole sizing issue. why is calculating one�s bra size so damn complicated? measure this, add five, divide by the width of your shadow at the full moon, multiply by the square root of pi, blah blah. no wonder most women wear the wrong bra size�it�s too hard to figure out! besides, size is only part of the issue. then there�s the width of the straps, the number of hooks, whether anything digs into your skin, the shape it makes your breasts. i�d rather get a root canal than go bra shopping. oh, and while i�m ranting�why are they so expensive? $30? (that�s $15 per, amy) what exactly what am i paying for here? some elastic, a bit of lace and polyester, a little metal? oh, if i ran the world� |
