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today the glitterbomber is... |
2003-07-15 i am very pleased right now because my data meeting was cancelled this morning. hey, it�s the little things that make me happy. this makes two days in a row that i�ve had meetings cancelled, which greatly reduces the boredom ration in my life. i had a lovely dinner with my friend kori last night. we used to work together when i first moved back to pittsburgh and started grad school. we don�t see each other too often any more, but we still keep in touch. we always swear that we�re going to get together more often, but then months pass by, and we spend two hours at dinner catching up. i like to connect back with friends like that, though. i like each one of my friends for her unique qualities, and when that person is missing in my life, i also miss those qualities. one of the reasons i like talking to kori is that she�s a drug and alcohol counselor, and she understands what i went though with my sister. after dinner, i ran some errands, and while i was at the checkout in target, i saw the woman who i interviewed earlier that day. i didn�t recognize her at first because she was wearing different clothes, but then i saw her looking at me, and it clicked who she was. i wanted to smile or wave or acknowledge her in some way, but she didn�t look at me again, and i missed the opportunity. i felt bad for that. so, the stores already have back to school things out. what the hell? it�s only mid-july, for the love of kittens. i guess it won�t be long now before they start shoving xmas down our throats. that is just one of the many reasons that i don�t like xmas. by the time it finally does show up, i�ve been hearing about it for months, and i am sick of it. i haven�t been doing so well with coping with stress lately. what a surprise, i know. i start out the day fine, but when i get home, it seems i�m suddenly faced with everything. i start thinking about all the things i should have done at work or that i need to do the next day. the work i do for my other job is piled on my desk, and i start to worry about that. i see the bills that i need to pay and the other things that i need to do around the house. i talk to bill on the phone, and his stresses become my stresses, and it just all piles up, and i feel out of control. i�ve always had a problem coping with stress; i�ve always taken it out on myself or dealt with it in unhealthy ways. i thought i was doing better, but maybe i�m not doing as well as i thought i was. i don�t know. i guess i need to make some changes in myself. i can�t keep going on like this. it�s affecting my life and my relationship with my boyfriend. i�m half-considering going back on adivan, but i know that�s not the answer, and besides, i don�t want to be addicted to it again. at least i know that i�m not alone in this, and that helps a lot. before, i�d just try to deal with things on my own, but now i am learning to reach out to other people when i need help. i�m still not so good at it, but i�m trying, and that is a step. *** quote of the day: |
