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did you miss anything?
close of 2003 - 2003-12-31
georgian grapes? in russian wine? - 2003-12-29
i'm gonna wash that database right outta my hair - 2003-12-23
acetone and toluene - 2003-12-22
grilled cheese in my future - 2003-12-21


2003-04-23
3:12 p.m.

this morning, i decided that i am getting sick of interviewing the mentally ill about their diet and exercise. my patience reserve must be running out. it�s not that i don�t like talking to people. i do, and some of these people have such interesting life stories. i am just getting bored with asking the same things over and over again, especially the standardized questionnaires my boss wants me to administer. if i have to ask "during the past 4 weeks, to what extent has your physical health or emotional problems interfered with your normal social activities with family, friends, neighbors, or groups?" one more time, i will have a fit. to make things worse, some of the patients don�t understand a lot of the questions. sample conversation with a patient:

me: i�m going to read a list of statements about how you feel about yourself, and you can tell me whether you strongly agree, agree, disagree, or strongly disagree with them. the first one is: i feel that i�m a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others.
patient: i can play with others?
me: no, plane. like a flat surface. it means, do you think you�re equal with others?
patient: do i think i can play with them?
me: forget the plane. do you think you have the same worth as other people?
patient: of course i do!
me: do you agree or strongly agree?
patient: strongly agree
me: next is: i feel i have a number of good qualities.
patient: yes.
me: do you agree or strongly agree?
patient: strongly agree.
etc.

now imagine doing that for pages and pages. it makes me want to tear my hair out sometimes. i love the patients who can fill out their own questionnaires, but i don�t think a lot of them read very well, so they almost always take the option of having me read to them.

today, though, i had an interesting interview with a woman who is in drug rehab. we hardly talked about food or exercise. instead, we talked about her life. she�s had one that i can hardly imagine. she smoked crack all the time and got super skinny from eating nothing but little bags of cheese curls once in a while. she had to prostitute herself in order to support her drug habit. she was raped more times than she can remember and left for dead twice. she wouldn�t brush her teeth for months and wouldn�t bathe or change her clothes for weeks. finally, she was tired of being homeless, cold, hungry, tired, and scared, so she asked the police to take her to jail. i wish i could have talked to her for longer, but i had to send her off with a hug because my next appointment was due to arrive. (ultimately, he didn�t show. described by his therapist as "paranoid," he couldn�t show up because i "look like the white people at work." i�m still not sure what that means. if anything, i look like i�m in high school. wait, i dress too conservatively to be in high school.)

***

quote of the day:

"i put my mother through h-e-l-l-with seven l�s. that�s right--seven l�s." �monet, my drug rehab interviewee of the day


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