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today the glitterbomber is... |
2002-12-19 i spent the morning reading a diet book for women. it was written in the 70s and (in my opinion) is sexist and rather rude to overweight people. my boss likes the book a lot, though, and wants me to use it for work. the book did teach me, however, that, um, bowel movements can reduce one's weight by up to two pounds. the thought of that one both fascinates and repulses me. so. today was the xmas bash at work. it was okay. there were a million potato dishes and a ham. we exchanged our secret santa gifts. i gave a starbucks gift card and some "after-coffee" mints. i got a starbucks gift card and a yankee candle that smells like vanilla cookie. i have also received bushels of candy and chocolates from coworkers. it's all good stuff, but i just can't eat that much of it. luckily, my boy loves chocolate, so he will be forced to take a lot of it (and no objections, you hear?). yesterday, my boss was appalled to find out that i wasn't taking any time off for the holidays. (that's the official version, of course. we all know darm well that i will not be setting foot on UPMC property between xmas and new year's.) so she told me to take off as much time as i could "get away" with. no problem. i am only too happy to follow orders. *** quote of the day: me: "...[the guy in the cubicle next to me] was talking to his wife like she was a retarded piece of toast..." |
