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today the glitterbomber is... |
2002-09-01 and so my good deeds continue... a few weeks ago, my stepmother asked me if i would go to some function or another involving members of her family. i agreed out of the goodness of my heart because it seemed like she wanted to introduce me to said family members. all i knew about this event was that it was taking place somewhere in central PA. when i arrived at daddy's compound yesterday, i discovered that we were going to be attending a 60th anniversary party of good old aunt mary and uncle joe. not only that, but the ohio contigent of the family would be driving with us. good god. my sister and i call the ohio family "the flanders family" (of simpsons fame). there are four kids who i'm sure do no wrong and the family attends church regularly and they all love each other and never fight. it makes me want to puke. the kids themselves would be okay (they range in age from 16 to 22), but they have never really liked me and my sister because we are "weird" and possibly "bad" because we have "tattoos" and do "drugs." whatever. i try to chat with them, but we don't have enough in common, so it usually falls flat. anyway, we all piled into two cars after lunch and headed out to a small hamlet called dunlo, PA. and yes, dunlo was quite a cultural experience. "oh, mullets!" i exclaimed as we drove down the main street. the party itself was okay. it was at the american legion (whoo-ee), and i spent most of the time chatting with my dad. the conversation somehow turned to drugs. my dad told me, and i quote, "i'm thinking about getting a nickel bag sometime just to see what it's like." aw, isn't that sweet...he wants to smoke up for the first time with my stepmother. i offered to share some of my stash with him because sharing is caring. daddy then launched into another one of his rants. this one was about how they should legalize marijuana. might i mention, during this whole exchange, we were surrounded by party guests. so that was their first impression of us. i think many people thought i was a kid. "and how old is courtney?" more than one person asked me. courtney is almost twenty-six and has a masters degree, so please don't talk to her like she's a child. i sometimes like to launch into the most professional, technical explanation possible when people like that ask me about my job. it's fun to watch their eyes glaze over. yeah, i'm a bitch. we've established that. after i attempted to find something i could eat at dinner (i found some fruit salad among the meat and gelatin products), i joined my dad outside. he fell asleep, and i read a book. we were the life of the party. strains of polka music drifted out to us until it was time to drive home. it wasn't a horrible day, but it was kind of a waste of my time. at least it made my father and stepmother happy. *** quote of the day: "you need benzedrine just to get bored in this town" -my father (i really have no idea what he was talking about) *** np: pop will eat itself "not now james, we're busy" |
