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today the glitterbomber is... |
2002-03-11 i feel so out of it today. i don't know why. i thought maybe food would help--i stopped eating breakfast, so lunch is my first meal now--but i feel the same. i had a ton of stuff i needed to get done at work today, but i forgot most of it at home. figures. i did get to have lunch with my old boss. i got my daily gossip quotient, too. my appointment with the shrink was both bad and good. i knew what her diagnosis would be (major depression and OCD), so it's good to finally be getting help for that. i had to tell her things i've never discussed with anyone before, things about what's going on in my head and my lifelong history of these feelings, and that was scary. as a result, i spent most of the hour in tears. it's therapeutic, just like the bits that i write here are therapeutic, and i need that. it's difficult to talk about it with friends, because they either can't relate or don't really want to hear it. (which is understandable) so...i got some bloodwork, a pregnancy test, and a prescription for zoloft. later, i found out that my stupid insurance doesn't cover zoloft, so i have to take celexa. celexa has weight gain associated with it...i didn't want to take it for that reason. i have a lot of body issues and don't need to gain weight when i've started to lose it. what a pain. ok...enough about that. friday was a nice day, though. i had lunch with my dad, then we went to a movie and wandered around the mall for a bit. he bought me a pair of shoes i said were "cute" in passing. can't go wrong with that. after that, i met amy b and elizabeth at the park, and we took their dogs for a hike and romp. amy and i capped things off going to get polish food (we're calling it a research trip). saturday morning, i went rollerblading for the first time this year. my goddess, my body is not used to it. i'm not totally out of shape, since i've been doing yoga and hiking around a lot, but i guess these were different muscles or something. i finished the five miles and collapsed gratefully in my car. i was inactive for the rest of the weekend, except for hauling a plant stand into my apartment from my porch. it's one of those shelving units with special plant lights built into the undersides of the shelves. my plants are loving it already. what can i say? sometimes, it's the little things that make me happy. *** quotes of the day, or proof that my father is from his own planet: "she probably thought i was a walrus who could talk. i'll stick a couple of pencils in my lips and give her a thrill." "i used to get mad at those people who would hallucinate while they drove. now i'm one of them." "i ran over my cell phone with the tractor." "you get kind of--what's the word?--fucked up when you get older." |
